#280: Communicating With Teens—How Talking & Listening Help You Both – Alice Shikina

The Toastmasters Podcast with Greg Gazin

The Toastmasters Podcast is like a radio talk show featuring interviews with Toastmasters usually featured in the Toastmaster magazine. The purpose of the podcast is to amplify the magazine - to dig deeper or to put a voice to a face or written wordBut unlike a radio show, a podcast is on the Internet, and available, for free, to anyone in the world with an Internet connection, and a connected device capable of playing audio. 260+ episodes are at ToastmastersPodcast.comThe Toastmasters Podcast is co-produced by Toastmasters International and Archieboy Holdings, LLC, for our global audience of Toastmasters and those interested in public speaking and leadership.

[33:47] Navigating conversations with teenagers can often feel like stepping into a minefield—especially when met with shrugs, silence, or eye-rolls. In this episode, Greg Gazin chats with Alice Shikina, a seasoned mediator, negotiation coach, and author, who shares practical strategies from her recent Toastmaster Magazine article, Tips for Communicating with Your Teen.

Drawing on her two decades of experience in theatre and conflict resolution, Alice offers eye-opening insights for fostering connection over control, using negotiation to build life skills, and showing up with curiosity instead of judgment.

From funny anecdotes about coconut popsicles to powerful techniques based on Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication framework, Alice reminds us that great communication begins with listening—whether you’re talking to your teen, your Toastmasters club members, or your colleagues.

We also touch on her new book, Don't Sleep on the Couch – Negotiating with Your Spouse, and her podcast Negotiation with Alice.

Whether you're a parent, a mentor, or simply someone who wants to communicate better, this episode is packed with tools you can use today.

Listen now and discover:

• The “two-choice” technique that diffuses arguments

• How to open up authentic conversations without forcing them

• Why negotiating with your kids today sets them up for life

• What NOT to say when your teen says, “I hate my math teacher”

• Why showing your own vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness

You can read Alice's article: Tips for Communicating With Your Teen, Using effective talking and listening skills benefits both of you, in the May 2025 Issue of the Toastmasters Magazine.

Alice Shikina is a mediator and negotiation/communication coach who handles divorces, workplace, and family conflicts. She draws on two decades of theater training in acting and directing to enhance her mediation work.

Some may remember Alice from the 100th anniversary Toastmasters International Convention, where she presented on conflict resolution. In June 2025, she received the Peacemaker Award from Community Boards in San Francisco for her work in mediation and conflict resolution.

She’s the author of Negotiating with Your Kids and is currently writing her second book, Don't Sleep on the Couch – Negotiating with Your Spouse. In her free time, she rows with a team and plays violin in a community orchestra.

Alice lives in Oakland, CA and can be reached at https://shikinanegotiationacademy.com/